(Source: lady-tangerine, via dasaix)

20 hours ago 149057 ♥
WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

image

BUT WAIT

THIS:

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IS:

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SOME:

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OF THE BRILLIANT:

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STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

image

(via bitter-blooded-demon)

20 hours ago 82797 ♥

sknorrblog:

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

ok but imagine a society where all the engineering was done with pool noodles. everything made out of pool noodles. society of pool noodles. 

(via bitter-blooded-demon)

20 hours ago 44726 ♥

z-co:

one of my coworkers got a call (i work in a call center/tech support) from a customer that was really scared because supposedly the mafia was hacking her computer and they were stalking her…when finally my coworker took remote control of the computer he couldn’t stop laughing because

image

(via bitter-blooded-demon)

20 hours ago 81674 ♥
inkghost:

Gnar, the Missing Link

inkghost:

Gnar, the Missing Link

(via bitter-blooded-demon)

20 hours ago 28 ♥
Things I Say While I'm Driving
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: /dinosaur screams/
20 hours ago 387442 ♥
gjume:

Hello i would like to purchase an automobile

gjume:

Hello i would like to purchase an automobile

(Source: weirdnessisgood, via bitter-blooded-demon)

21 hours ago 11098 ♥

janebuzjane:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

rebelside:

But seriously do you ever think that all those who died in the battle of Hogwarts probably went on the chocolate frogs’ cards . And Teddy opening one before going on the train to Hogwarts and seeing his parents smiling at him, so they were actually there to see him off on his first year.

how fucking dare you

once i finish crying im gonna fuck u up

(via bitter-blooded-demon)

21 hours ago 91468 ♥
inexplicably-victor:

gallifrey-feels:

thatguywhocooks:

blackout3890:

This is fun if you read the entire thing

Hmmmm. I have trouble as it is

oh god I panicked

Did this mother fucker just taught me German?

inexplicably-victor:

gallifrey-feels:

thatguywhocooks:

blackout3890:

This is fun if you read the entire thing

Hmmmm. I have trouble as it is

oh god I panicked

Did this mother fucker just taught me German?

(Source: yoloswagbacon, via bitter-blooded-demon)

22 hours ago 155914 ♥
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